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For the first couple of months, the relationship with your baby was a one-way street. You gave her love and attention, and she soaked it in. She could smile and cry, but she never really tried to connect with you or the other people in her life. Now, in her fourth month, the relationship is finally starting to flow in two directions. She has the brainpower to know what she wants, and she's finding...

Your baby has a lot on his mind. Now that he's moving around, he faces all sorts of new decisions and dilemmas. Which part of the house should he explore next? What's the best way to get there? And what should he do once he arrives? He's also thinking harder about the world around him and his place in it. Even when he makes bad decisions -- why would he put oatmeal there? -- he's constantly buildi...

At this age, your baby's social circle isn't very large. Of all of the friends, relatives, and strangers who drift in and out of her life, she really only cares about a few key people. And you're one of them. Throughout the day, she'll make many attempts to get your attention and draw you into her world. Yelling may be one of her favorite tactics. When she screams for attention, the best thing y...

Your 6-month-old still has a limited social life. He can recognize his mom and dad, and he enjoys it when someone plays with him or talks to him. But at this age, he doesn't give much thought to other people. His notion of "love" may be primitive, but he still needs plenty of it. You should comfort him when he cries and give him lots of cuddles. At this age, it's impossible to spoil him. He just...

Your baby is on the verge of a scientific breakthrough. After many experiments, he's starting to realize that his actions have consequences. When he hits his mobile, it moves. When he lets go of his rattle, it falls. And when he cries, mom comforts him. He's learning that life isn't quite as random as it seemed. More important, he's learning that he has some control over his world. He's especial...

Your baby loves to move. It's almost as if she still remembers her cramped quarters from a few months ago and is making the most of her newfound freedom. She can get a surprising amount of exercise while lying on her back. Put her down on her blanket, and she'll probably kick and flap as if trying to take flight. She's not getting very far, but her excited squeals tell you she's having a great t...

Your baby lives in a perplexing world, but some things are coming into focus. New research has shown that your baby now has 20/60 vision, although his brain isn't able to process all of its visual information yet. For the first time, his eyes are working together, giving him the gift of depth perception. Now when he reaches for a toy, he's less likely to miss by a mile. His eyes can also track mov...

Your baby may spend a lot of time looking pensive, but she's not exactly a deep thinker. When she furrows her brow and purses her lips, she's more likely to be filling her pants than doing algebra. Still, she's starting to take some amazing mental leaps. For the first time, she's beginning to understand the wonders of cause and effect. She'll start to realize that her crib shakes when she kicks ...

Your baby's mind is becoming as active as his body. He's having important insights about himself, the people around him, and his surroundings. He's smart enough to remember the past and anticipate the future. He's also smart enough to feel bored and lonely. He shouldn't be left alone in his crib or playpen for more than a half-hour at a time. He needs regular opportunities to move around, play wit...

By now, your baby is moving towards all sorts of fun and mischief. Different babies have different methods for getting around. Some scoot on their bellies, some use their arms to push themselves backwards, and some have already mastered the classic forward crawl. However your baby decides to crawl, she needs your help to polish her skills, have fun, and stay safe. Watch her face as she works on ...

Your baby is full of emotions, and he's more than willing to put them on display. He can go from laughter to tears and back again faster than you can change his clothes. Dealing with his up-and-down feelings can be a tiring job, but there's an upside: If you don't like his attitude, just wait a few minutes. He'll soon have a new one. The more time you spend with your child, the happier he'll be....

Your baby's curiosity dwarfs her attention span. She'll be fascinated by just about everything -- for a little while, at least. She'll move from a toy to a book to another toy like a baby on a mission. She's trying to make sense of the things around her, and she's learning every day. Few missions in life are more important. Your baby may have a thirst for learning, but it's probably too early to...

At this age, your baby needs love about as much as he needs food. Your hugs, cuddles, and kind words are crucial for his physical, intellectual, and emotional growth. He knows it, too. Why else would he try so hard to win your affection? More than ever before, your baby really aims to please. He'll enjoy showing off new skills, and he'll beam with happiness when you say "way to go" or "good job....

Your baby continues to add new moves to his repertoire. He may now be able to crawl while holding something in his hand, opening up brand-new opportunities to put things where they don't belong. He might be able to spin around on his bottom, a move he'll practice over and over. He might also be able to stand briefly if you hold his hand. At his age, standing is usually exciting business. He'll c...

Gaga. Mama. Baba. Listening to a baby talk at this age is a bit like searching for diamonds in a rock pile. Real words will be surrounded by nonsense syllables. And even when you hear a word, it's hard to tell if he really means it. He may say "no" when he's thinking "yes," and he may say "mama" for absolutely no reason at all. He's still figuring out what his mouth can do. You should keep encoura...

Your baby's social life is getting more complex as the months go by. She's growing more aware of the people around her, and she's also starting to think about her place in the world. For her, a little awareness can be a confusing thing. As she sorts through new anxieties and conflicting emotions, she'll need your love and support as much as ever before. By the 10th month, she may have already en...

As you've watched your baby grow through her first nine months, you've probably discovered that she doesn't always do things by the book. She may develop some skills ahead of schedule while others lag behind. Now's a good time to remind yourself that she's working at her own pace. It's fun and helpful to know what to expect from month to month -- just be ready to be surprised. For most babies, t...

It's impossible to know all of the things that float through your baby's head. How many words does she recognize? What is she trying to accomplish when she puts oatmeal in her hair? And does she even remotely understand how much you love her? Your guess is as good as anyone's. You can't get into your baby's mind, but it's easy to see that she's getting smarter. Look at how she plays with her toy...

Your baby is at an active, exciting, and unpredictable age. Will he be content to crawl, scoot, and cruise through the month, or will he start walking before he turns one? About one in four babies take their first steps by their eleventh month. Meanwhile, other perfectly healthy babies don't start walking until month fifteen or sixteen. Early walkers aren't necessarily more athletic or coordinat...

Your baby's social life is growing richer and more complicated. She's really starting to see herself as an individual, a realization that will only feed her hunger for independence. She's also paying more attention to the different people around her. She can instantly separate the familiar faces from the strangers, a skill that may cause anxiety when out-of-town relatives stop by for a visit. Whil...

Your baby understands quite a bit by now -- probably a lot more than he shows. He's well acquainted with the word "no" -- although he doesn't necessarily obey it! He recognizes his name and turns when he hears it. He can also recognize familiar voices, even on the telephone. He usually responds with body language to familiar questions, such as "Do you want up?" He may be able to follow simple, f...

As you prepare for your child's first birthday, it's only natural to wonder about other milestones. If she isn't already walking, you may worry that she's falling behind schedule. You may have heard about nieces, cousins, or neighbor kids who toddled their way through their first birthday party. But don't be concerned if your little one is still content to crawl and scoot. Only about half of all b...

In the sixth month, your baby will continue exploring some of the basic laws of physics. Water spills, plates fall, and mom and dad make funny noises when something really messy hits the floor. Games of "cause and effect" may not be good for your carpeting, but they work wonders for her brain. She's learning that she has some control over the world, and she's beginning to understand that actions h...

The sixth month is a time for breakthroughs and discoveries. Your baby will develop skills that will open a new world of opportunities: opportunities to move, opportunities to learn, and, yes, opportunities to cause trouble. As she's testing her newfound abilities, you'll be put to the test, too. You need to encourage and challenge her, but you also need to keep her safe. This is the age when ma...

At this age, your baby likes to socialize through play. Games are a great way to bring out her personality and strengthen your bond. When you play with her, you're telling her that she matters. You're also reminding her that you're more than just a servant or a disciplinarian. You're a person who knows how to have fun. Your baby's favorite games are the classics played by generations of other ki...

How much sleep does my child need? It depends on her age and other personal characteristics. According to the Nemours Foundation, which specializes in children's health issues, a 3-month old will sleep an average of 15 hours a day. This gradually decreases as a child grows older, eventually gives up daily naps and sleeps progressively fewer hours at night. Here are a few rough guidelines from the...

Why does my child have a sore throat? In children, a sore throat is almost always due to an infection. A host of bacteria and viruses can cause this common condition, also known as pharyngitis. Irritants such as cigarette smoke can also cause a sore throat. Is a sore throat ever serious? Most sore throats are harmless. Swollen glands, ear infection, and congestion can accompany sore throat, bu...

The first month of life is a steep learning curve for both the new baby and the new parents. In even a few short weeks, your baby will have come a long way from the moment he was born. Your baby starts life with more than 70 separate reflexes. Reflexes are instinctive, rather than learned, behaviors, and many will gradually fade away in the coming months. Two of the most important inborn skills ...

Even when your newborn seems to just be staring into space, she is actually working overtime on developing her mind. In the first year of life, the brain will double in size and your child will make amazing cognitive leaps. The brain is made up of neurons, nerve cells resembling long wires. A newborn's brain has few connections between the neurons, but your baby is busily making new ones in resp...

Your baby has a lot to think about during her second month. When will she get fed? What are those shapes dangling above her crib? Who are those people who keep picking her up, and why do they make such strange sounds? Understanding language is one of your baby's most important jobs in the first few years of life. Believe it or not, she's already starting to polish her skills. Her communication h...

Should I spank my child? The short answer is no. When your child misbehaves or acts in ways that are defiant, inappropriate, or even dangerous, you want to show him that this behavior is unacceptable and needs to change. Spanking may seem like a direct and effective way to do that, but it also delivers other messages you don't want to be sent:

During the second month, your baby becomes a much more interactive little being. This is the month when the long-anticipated first smile emerges. Not a mere flutter during sleep, this is a true grin that conveys her amusement at your antics or joy upon seeing you. In fact, her entire face gets in on the action, eyes twinkling and chubby cheeks dimpling. To keep those adorable, toothless smiles c...

In your baby's second month, his world grows much larger. He is still drawn to familiar faces, and he sometimes holds eye contact for as long as 10 seconds. In addition to your face, baby's top 10 list includes high-contrast mobiles, black-and-white pictures of familiar faces, ceiling fans, checkerboards, silhouettes, and black-and-white designs. He may also be able to start following a moving o...

How important is it to teach my child good manners? These are the years when your child needs to learn the true meaning of good manners: that if she conducts herself considerately in all sorts of different situations, from visits with relatives to overnights with friends, people will enjoy -- and even seek out -- her company. Even a 6-year-old can grasp the idea that different scenarios call for...

What is strep throat? Strep throat is a bacterial throat infection marked by swelling and extreme soreness of the back of the throat, or pharynx. It can hurt so much your child doesn't want to swallow. (The name "strep throat" is a shorthand term for the throat infection, which is caused by Group A streptococcus bacteria.) Other symptoms of strep are fever (often above 101 degrees), chills, decre...

How can I tell if my child has a stuttering problem? The mind of a toddler is buzzing with questions, commands, and mangled lyrics to "Sesame Street" songs. Your child is probably still learning how to turn his thoughts into intelligible sounds, and mistakes are bound to happen. He may pepper his speech with "um" and "uh" or frequently repeat words or phrases ("Hey, hey, hey, hey, Mom. Can I, uh,...

My well-mannered child has suddenly been replaced by a rude, temperamental lout. Is this normal? Unfortunately, yes. Odds are puberty turned you into a rude, temperamental lout yourself; you've just blocked out the memory. The main thing to keep in mind about good manners in the teenage years is that you're not teaching them so much as fanning furiously to keep some small spark alive until your ...

How can I tell if my child has a stuttering problem? The mind of a preschooler is buzzing with questions, commands, and mangled lyrics to Sesame Street songs. Your child is probably still learning how to turn his thoughts into intelligible sounds, and mistakes are bound to happen. Your child may pepper his speech with "um" and "uh" or frequently repeat words or phrases. ("Hey, hey, hey, hey mom. ...

Are children this young capable of learning manners? Sure, but you have to keep your goals realistic. You'll never get a 2-year-old to chew with her mouth closed. Focus instead on conveying the idea of manners, the concept that there are ways to behave and ways not to behave. If you get this idea across early and often, your child will catch on faster -- and resist less -- when you start adding ...

When it comes to manners, what can I reasonably expect of my child? Inconsistency, for one thing. A 4-year-old is capable of being amazingly polite one day and spitting his milk at you the next just to see what will happen. But even very young children can learn more than "please" and "thank you." You're teaching your child rules every day: Don't run into the street, don't put your hand on a hot...

How can I tell if my child has a stuttering problem? Everybody has trouble speaking from time to time. We've all filled sentences with "um" or "uh" or stumbled through a nerve-wracking speech. But when a child has a stuttering problem, words can be a daily struggle. Stuttering usually starts between the ages of 2 and 5, but it can arise anytime before the teenage years. Watch for these signs:

Why does my toddler fib? Until she's 3 or 4, your child won't be able to reliably distinguish between reality and fantasy. That makes it impossible for her to grasp the concepts of lying and telling the truth. What seem like fibs are really the result of:

Somewhere, sometime, during your child's school years, he'll open his sweet mouth and out will pop a whopper. You can count on it. You can also expect your child's lies to become more sophisticated and plausible as he gets older. But here's the good news: In the vast majority of cases, your child knows the difference between right and wrong, or he wouldn't bother to lie. And if you can pinpoint th...

When should my child start brushing? Clean your child's very first teeth by rubbing them gently with a damp piece of gauze. But when the first molars come in, usually by the age of ten months, it's time to start daily brushing. Use a soft-bristled brush and water. Move the brush back and forth gently in short strokes, making sure you reach the front, back, and chewing surfaces of all teeth. Be ex...

Parents usually manage to remain calm during the years when children's lying takes the form of fantastical stories or denials of having raided the cookie jar. But an older child who skimps on the truth sets off parents' alarm bells -- and rightly so. Lying takes on much greater significance as children enter adolescence because the child is doing it consciously, with full knowledge of the conseque...

Spurred on by family instability, violent crime now touches millions of young lives. The control of crime in the streets, in the schools, and in the home ought to be the preeminent 'children's issue.' --Karl Zinsmeister, "Growing up Scared," Atlantic Monthly, June 1990 Karl Zinsmeister's words are 20 years old, but the message still resonates. Although violent crime rates had been dropping stead...

My child hits, kicks, and lashes out at other kids. Should I be concerned? Yes. Most children outgrow this kind of behavior by the time they enter grade school, because they've developed the language skills to express themselves in words and been socialized to feel that physical aggression is wrong and unrewarding. If your child has failed to learn these lessons, it's time to find out why. Your...

Anxiety is a normal part of your child's behavioral and emotional development. Toddlers often get uneasy when separated from their parents or introduced to strangers. Fears of the dark, the toilet, animals, and loud noises (such as fireworks or thunderstorms) are all common, even signs that your toddler's development is on track. Between the ages of 1 and 3, your child may go through a number of a...

How early do children have sexual feelings? Almost from the very beginning, children are exploring their bodies. But before that idea makes you anxious, remember that at this point your child's curiosity is less about sex as you think of it and more about the general mysteries of body function. "What's this part for?" "Why does it look different from my cousin's?" "Why does it feel good when I t...

How do I handle the birds-and-bees speech responsibly? Give up on the idea of presenting the subject in one big talk -- you'll overwhelm your child with more bewildering and even distasteful information than she can process at once. Instead, think of it as a gentle conversation that will take place over several months or perhaps even years. Keep your explanations as simple and specific to the di...

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