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Your baby understands quite a bit by now -- probably a lot more than he shows. He's well acquainted with the word "no" -- although he doesn't necessarily obey it! He recognizes his name and turns when he hears it. He can also recognize familiar voices, even on the telephone. He usually responds with body language to familiar questions, such as "Do you want up?" He may be able to follow simple, f...

As you prepare for your child's first birthday, it's only natural to wonder about other milestones. If she isn't already walking, you may worry that she's falling behind schedule. You may have heard about nieces, cousins, or neighbor kids who toddled their way through their first birthday party. But don't be concerned if your little one is still content to crawl and scoot. Only about half of all b...

In the sixth month, your baby will continue exploring some of the basic laws of physics. Water spills, plates fall, and mom and dad make funny noises when something really messy hits the floor. Games of "cause and effect" may not be good for your carpeting, but they work wonders for her brain. She's learning that she has some control over the world, and she's beginning to understand that actions h...

The sixth month is a time for breakthroughs and discoveries. Your baby will develop skills that will open a new world of opportunities: opportunities to move, opportunities to learn, and, yes, opportunities to cause trouble. As she's testing her newfound abilities, you'll be put to the test, too. You need to encourage and challenge her, but you also need to keep her safe. This is the age when ma...

At this age, your baby likes to socialize through play. Games are a great way to bring out her personality and strengthen your bond. When you play with her, you're telling her that she matters. You're also reminding her that you're more than just a servant or a disciplinarian. You're a person who knows how to have fun. Your baby's favorite games are the classics played by generations of other ki...

How much sleep does my child need? It depends on her age and other personal characteristics. According to the Nemours Foundation, which specializes in children's health issues, a 3-month old will sleep an average of 15 hours a day. This gradually decreases as a child grows older, eventually gives up daily naps and sleeps progressively fewer hours at night. Here are a few rough guidelines from the...

Even when your newborn seems to just be staring into space, she is actually working overtime on developing her mind. In the first year of life, the brain will double in size and your child will make amazing cognitive leaps. The brain is made up of neurons, nerve cells resembling long wires. A newborn's brain has few connections between the neurons, but your baby is busily making new ones in resp...

Your baby has a lot to think about during her second month. When will she get fed? What are those shapes dangling above her crib? Who are those people who keep picking her up, and why do they make such strange sounds? Understanding language is one of your baby's most important jobs in the first few years of life. Believe it or not, she's already starting to polish her skills. Her communication h...

Should I spank my child? The short answer is no. When your child misbehaves or acts in ways that are defiant, inappropriate, or even dangerous, you want to show him that this behavior is unacceptable and needs to change. Spanking may seem like a direct and effective way to do that, but it also delivers other messages you don't want to be sent:

During the second month, your baby becomes a much more interactive little being. This is the month when the long-anticipated first smile emerges. Not a mere flutter during sleep, this is a true grin that conveys her amusement at your antics or joy upon seeing you. In fact, her entire face gets in on the action, eyes twinkling and chubby cheeks dimpling. To keep those adorable, toothless smiles c...

In your baby's second month, his world grows much larger. He is still drawn to familiar faces, and he sometimes holds eye contact for as long as 10 seconds. In addition to your face, baby's top 10 list includes high-contrast mobiles, black-and-white pictures of familiar faces, ceiling fans, checkerboards, silhouettes, and black-and-white designs. He may also be able to start following a moving o...

How important is it to teach my child good manners? These are the years when your child needs to learn the true meaning of good manners: that if she conducts herself considerately in all sorts of different situations, from visits with relatives to overnights with friends, people will enjoy -- and even seek out -- her company. Even a 6-year-old can grasp the idea that different scenarios call for...

How can I tell if my child has a stuttering problem? The mind of a toddler is buzzing with questions, commands, and mangled lyrics to "Sesame Street" songs. Your child is probably still learning how to turn his thoughts into intelligible sounds, and mistakes are bound to happen. He may pepper his speech with "um" and "uh" or frequently repeat words or phrases ("Hey, hey, hey, hey, Mom. Can I, uh,...

My well-mannered child has suddenly been replaced by a rude, temperamental lout. Is this normal? Unfortunately, yes. Odds are puberty turned you into a rude, temperamental lout yourself; you've just blocked out the memory. The main thing to keep in mind about good manners in the teenage years is that you're not teaching them so much as fanning furiously to keep some small spark alive until your ...

How can I tell if my child has a stuttering problem? The mind of a preschooler is buzzing with questions, commands, and mangled lyrics to Sesame Street songs. Your child is probably still learning how to turn his thoughts into intelligible sounds, and mistakes are bound to happen. Your child may pepper his speech with "um" and "uh" or frequently repeat words or phrases. ("Hey, hey, hey, hey mom. ...

Are children this young capable of learning manners? Sure, but you have to keep your goals realistic. You'll never get a 2-year-old to chew with her mouth closed. Focus instead on conveying the idea of manners, the concept that there are ways to behave and ways not to behave. If you get this idea across early and often, your child will catch on faster -- and resist less -- when you start adding ...

When it comes to manners, what can I reasonably expect of my child? Inconsistency, for one thing. A 4-year-old is capable of being amazingly polite one day and spitting his milk at you the next just to see what will happen. But even very young children can learn more than "please" and "thank you." You're teaching your child rules every day: Don't run into the street, don't put your hand on a hot...

How can I tell if my child has a stuttering problem? Everybody has trouble speaking from time to time. We've all filled sentences with "um" or "uh" or stumbled through a nerve-wracking speech. But when a child has a stuttering problem, words can be a daily struggle. Stuttering usually starts between the ages of 2 and 5, but it can arise anytime before the teenage years. Watch for these signs:

Why does my toddler fib? Until she's 3 or 4, your child won't be able to reliably distinguish between reality and fantasy. That makes it impossible for her to grasp the concepts of lying and telling the truth. What seem like fibs are really the result of:

Somewhere, sometime, during your child's school years, he'll open his sweet mouth and out will pop a whopper. You can count on it. You can also expect your child's lies to become more sophisticated and plausible as he gets older. But here's the good news: In the vast majority of cases, your child knows the difference between right and wrong, or he wouldn't bother to lie. And if you can pinpoint th...

Parents usually manage to remain calm during the years when children's lying takes the form of fantastical stories or denials of having raided the cookie jar. But an older child who skimps on the truth sets off parents' alarm bells -- and rightly so. Lying takes on much greater significance as children enter adolescence because the child is doing it consciously, with full knowledge of the conseque...

Spurred on by family instability, violent crime now touches millions of young lives. The control of crime in the streets, in the schools, and in the home ought to be the preeminent 'children's issue.' --Karl Zinsmeister, "Growing up Scared," Atlantic Monthly, June 1990 Karl Zinsmeister's words are 20 years old, but the message still resonates. Although violent crime rates had been dropping stead...

My child hits, kicks, and lashes out at other kids. Should I be concerned? Yes. Most children outgrow this kind of behavior by the time they enter grade school, because they've developed the language skills to express themselves in words and been socialized to feel that physical aggression is wrong and unrewarding. If your child has failed to learn these lessons, it's time to find out why. Your...

Anxiety is a normal part of your child's behavioral and emotional development. Toddlers often get uneasy when separated from their parents or introduced to strangers. Fears of the dark, the toilet, animals, and loud noises (such as fireworks or thunderstorms) are all common, even signs that your toddler's development is on track. Between the ages of 1 and 3, your child may go through a number of a...

How early do children have sexual feelings? Almost from the very beginning, children are exploring their bodies. But before that idea makes you anxious, remember that at this point your child's curiosity is less about sex as you think of it and more about the general mysteries of body function. "What's this part for?" "Why does it look different from my cousin's?" "Why does it feel good when I t...

How do I handle the birds-and-bees speech responsibly? Give up on the idea of presenting the subject in one big talk -- you'll overwhelm your child with more bewildering and even distasteful information than she can process at once. Instead, think of it as a gentle conversation that will take place over several months or perhaps even years. Keep your explanations as simple and specific to the di...

What's the best way to initiate a conversation about sex with my child? First of all, give up on the idea that it's going to happen the way you plan it -- fruitful conversations with adolescents rarely take place when and how their parents want them to. If you're the one who brings up sex, don't be offended when your child looks horrified that you did so. At least now she knows you're willing to...

As your child moves into the preschool and kindergarten years, behavior that seemed understandable and even expected of a toddler -- clinging to your leg when a stranger approaches, weeping over every goodbye, refusing to join in group activities -- may start to seem a bit less charming. We expect children to become more adept at social situations as they grow, so your timid child may feel more pr...

Anxiety is a normal part of children's behavioral and emotional development. Your child may be worried about starting school, learning to kick a ball, or wetting his bed at night. These anxieties are common, even signs that your child's development is on track. Why is my child so anxious? As your child moves out into the world around him and takes new risks, he has not only wonderful, exciting e...

Like quite a few parents, you may have recently taken a good look at your adolescent and wondered, "What happened?" Not only has your child's appearance changed, her demeanor may have as well. A once-gregarious child who used to tell you everything now clams up. A jolly child who was always surrounded by a dozen pals suddenly has no friends. Your previously confident child now blushes, stammers, a...

Anxiety is a normal part of children's behavioral and emotional development, and as children get older, their concerns grow broader. Your child may be worried about a spelling test, a soccer match, or riding the school bus for the first time. These anxieties are common, even signs that your child's development is on track. Why is my child so anxious? As children get older, they subject themselve...

By now your child has reached elementary school age and you feel pretty well in tune with his personality -- his shyness is just part of the package. Still, you wonder how you can make life easier for him. The key is to avoid the two opposing -- and perhaps equally strong -- temptations to pressure and overprotect him. Trying to get him to be more outgoing will only make him retreat. And shelterin...

What is attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder? ADHD (commonly known as ADD) is a behavioral disorder. Basically, children who have it are unable to concentrate, excessively active, or both. The American Psychiatric Association calls the distinct types "inattentive" and "hyperactive-impulsivity." Some kids with attention deficit disorder repeatedly fail to finish tasks, get distracted easily, a...

Child abuse casts a long shadow. A long-term study published in the Journal of Child Abuse and Neglect found that by age 21, up to 80 percent of child abuse survivors had developed a psychiatric illness, including depression and anxiety disorders. In recent years, experts have discovered another disturbing consequence of childhood trauma: People who were abused or neglected as children also appea...

What is attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder? ADHD (commonly known as ADD) is a behavioral disorder. Basically, children who have it are unable to concentrate, excessively active, or both. The American Psychiatric Association calls the distinct types "inattentive" and "hyperactive-impulsivity." Some kids with attention deficit disorder repeatedly fail to finish tasks, get distracted easily, a...

What is attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder? ADHD (commonly known as ADD) is a behavioral disorder. Basically, kids who have it are unable to concentrate, extremely restless, or both. The American Psychiatric Association calls the distinct types "inattentive" and "hyperactive-impulsivity." Some adolescents with attention deficit disorder can't organize or complete tasks, get distracted easil...

How can I get my child to stop whining? A school-age child who whines can be a serious nuisance and may earn a reputation as a complainer at school. Ending the habit isn't easy. Find the patience and resolution to help your child by reminding yourself how important it is for him to behave in likable and effective ways. You have two main tasks: to firmly refuse to give in to his needling and to te...

How can I get my child to stop whining? That depends on why he's whining. If he's hungry, tired, or bored, give him what he needs: a snack, a nap, a suggestion of something to do, or maybe just a hug. Then you can deal with curbing his fussy behavior and preventing it in the future. Suppose your child is whining for something he shouldn't have. Try these tips:

We were listening to a tape of the most recent Harry Potter volume, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, on the way back from the beach, my three children and I. It was late, and everyone was sunburned and sandy, stunned into peaceful silence. The car was warm and rapt, and no one said a word as we hurtled down the highway, over the Golden Gate Bridge and across the city to our house. The ...

If you've ever seen a young child in the grip of a night terror, you'll never forget it. He'll wail in panic, scream, and thrash about like a small animal. His eyes are wide open but he doesn't recognize or even see you. A child with a night terror is caught in a zone between sleep and wakefulness, and it's impossible to wake him up or give him much comfort; he is inconsolable. Night terrors usual...

Why do I -- or members of my family -- need to see an eye doctor? Sooner or later almost everyone will need to use eyeglasses. Vision problems are generally divided into two categories: nearsightedness (being able to see clearly only when things are close up or nearby), or farsightedness (being able to see things far away, while small nearby objects, such as printed words, appear blurred). People...

How can I get my child to stop whining? Tell him gently but firmly that his whining must stop, and work with him on better ways to express himself. These techniques can help:

  • Point out your child's whiny voice as soon as he uses it. You'll have to be on the alert: Chances are you've heard it so often that you don't even notice when it starts. "I'm sorry," you can say upon hearing that ...

What should I do if my child bites someone? First, stay calm. Even if another child provoked yours and the child's parent is furious, remember that your toddler may just be "trying out" her teeth, unaware of how much pain she inflicted. Many toddlers bite once, learn that biting is wrong, and never do it again. At the same time, let your child know right away that she did something wrong. Pull...

How can I make my preschooler stop biting? For starters, do what you did when your child was a toddler: Tell her firmly that biting is wrong, give her a time-out to reinforce the lesson, and try to head off the hunger, fatigue, or frustration that loosens her self-control so she's more likely to behave badly. But go one step further: Your preschooler is much more verbal than she was as a toddler,...

What is emotional intelligence? Your emotional IQ is your ability to handle your own feelings and be aware and respectful of those of other people. If your child has a high emotional IQ, he'll be better able to cope with his feelings, calm himself down, and understand and relate well to adults and other kids, according to psychologist John Gottman, a professor of psychology at the University o...

Why is it important to get my child to bed early? Kids need a lot of sleep to function at their best. Toddlers and preschoolers may need 11 and a half to 13 and a half hours of sleep every day, and at this age, a later bedtime doesn't usually mean a later rising time. Children who don't get enough sleep tend to be cranky, irritable, and easily frustrated. Some even become overactive in an effort ...

What is dyslexia? Although the term has fallen out of favor among child psychologists and other experts, dyslexia is popularly used to mean a disability in processing language. There are three types: visual (trouble recognizing printed letters or words), auditory (trouble distinguishing certain sounds or connecting sounds to letters), and "expressive writing" (trouble drawing or writing legibly ...

Careth Reid has hiked mountains from Peru to Nepal, bicycled from northern Scotland to southern England, and ridden a camel in the Sahara. She was named Alumna of the Year by her alma mater and has been called "a creative genius" by child-care experts. But like many older people, the 69-year-old grandmother has felt at times like an unemployable failure. After her 31-year marriage dissolved when s...

All parents get a little anxious about sending their children off to school for the first time, but it's an especially tough call if your child was born in the second half of the year. Many public school districts require that a child turns 5 by September 1 or December 1 to enroll for kindergarten that fall. But of course this requirement shouldn't be your only guide. You may want to wait a year i...

Think back to the happiest moments of your childhood. Chances are, you weren't sitting at a desk or finishing up a chore. More likely, you were running around at the park, jumping in a creek, or building a new civilization in your backyard. For kids of all ages, playtime is the highlight of every day. Playtime may be fun and games, but that's not all: Child development experts everywhere agree th...

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